Chapter One

THE ANDERCHRONICLES

By Me, Ellee

[WARNING: The following story has been rated FNF*]
*Fiction NOT Fact

"Last Minute Gift Idea"

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nce upon a time, in an alternate universe, far, far away, it was five days before Christmas (or Holiday, whichever you prefer), and there was this young girl—me, who was busy wrapping a very special Christmas present for a very special person whose initials were AC. Now don't go getting that confused with alternating current or air conditioning. It's not the same thing. For days she . . . that is me . . . urr . . . I had been anguishing over what to give him, realizing that for someone who had everything, there was nothing he needed, and probably very little he wanted. Then, at the last minute, it occurred to me, That poor boy doesn't have ME! And he definitely NEEDS ME!, although at the time he just didn’t know it.

So after that, it was an easy decision. I would just wrap ME up, and send ME to him in a super-size FedEx box. (Okaaay, I know what you're thinking, that just doesn't happen, but in an alternate universe it does.) WOW! was he gonna be surprised!!! I was betting he'd NEVER had a Christmas (Holiday) present like ME!

The mailing label I filled out read, To: A. C . I left it up to FedEx to know where in the world he was at that time. I personally had no idea. Neither did anyone else, although many professed to know. He was sighted everywhere, and I might add, at the same time. And although there were over 200 blogs on the alternate internet with the sole purpose of discussing his whereabouts, NO ONE REALLY KNEW FOR SURE! However, I mean, FedEx should know things like that, shouldn't they? They ARE the #1 freight people in the world—or is that UPS? Oops, I thought, maybe I had made a mistake! However, I trusted them and I arrived in good condition. And I was glad to know they understood that I absolutely, positively had to be there overnight!

The box was cold and uncomfortable. In order to keep the weight down, I took only two items: my blankie and my iPod on which I had downloaded lots music and all the AC 360 programs from the previous four months. It would be just AC and Me, together in our box.

Some hours later, after looking at all the 360 videos, I was bored so I began playing Nickelback's newest album, and singing along with "Someone That You're With" and "Far Away," and I guess I got somewhat carried away, because all of a sudden someone slapped the side of the box and yelled,

"HEY!! Keep it down in there! You're making too much noise!!"

The next day when AC opened up the rather large package in his front entry and found me inside, WOW was he surprised! And WOW was I even more surprised! I didn’t know what to say when I first saw him. And what’s more, he didn’t either! So we both just stared at each other with open-mouth wonder.

I searched for something to say that would sound normal, like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. So I said,

"Hey!" And then I gave a cute little wave, and a cute little smile which showed my lovely, straight and gleaming white teeth, and hopefully my cute little dimple was making a cute little curve on the right side of my upper lip—I knew that would catch his attention.

By that time he still hadn’t found any words for a response, but then all of a sudden, I guess he found them because he yelled,

"What in tarnation is going on here? Who are you? How did you get in here? And why are you here?"

"That’s an awful lot of questions all at once," I replied as I climbed out, smiling once again, making sure he didn't miss the cute little dimple.

"And I think you better start answering, right NOW!" He wasn’t smiling. And I couldn't tell if he had noticed the cute little dimple.

"Oh . . . well," I began somewhat hesitantly, again searching for something that would come off as normal, and yet still made some kind of sense, "uhhh . . . you see . . . it was just a last minute gift idea." I wasn't prepared for what followed next.

"Well, you can't stay here! I'm sending you back!"

"No, wait," I resisted, as he started steering me towards the box, "you can't send me back"

"Yes, I can," he said with absolute conviction as he picked me up and started stuffing me back in the box with his powerful, yet gentle hands. Now I didn't mind him stuffing me back in the box with his powerful, yet gentle hands. In fact . . . well, never mind. But what I did mind was being sent back.

"Noooo, you can't send me back," I said with the same conviction.

"Oh yessss, I can!"

"No you can't!"

"And WHY NOT?"

"Becaaause . . ." I was really being insistent now, "THERE’S NO RETURN POSTAGE!"

After a few seconds I could see he wasn't buying that one. It was then I knew I would have to cry. The tears welled up slowly at first, intermittently, with a few well-placed sobs. Then I opened the flood gates and let the water works gush out unrestrained. He was taken off guard, of course. Then gradually, his eyes softened and I could see he was feeling terrible that he had made me cry, so he said,

"You look like you could use a drink."

"Yes," I sniffled, "actually I could." And I sniffled a couple of times more, hoping that would really tug on his heartstrings.

He studied me for a few moments, then disappeared briefly, returning with a glass of water—fizzy water—probably club soda or sparkling water. I wasn't sure which. I couldn’t tell the difference. As he handed me the glass, he fixed his gaze intently on me with eyes so blue, I thought the Caribbean had swallowed me up. I returned his gaze, sniffling once more, and dabbing at my eyes with the tissue he had handed me.

Then under his intense scrutiny, I put the glass to my lips and took a dainty sip of the liquid . . . so as not to appear barbaric. But it was so cooling to my parched mouth, and tasted so good, and I was so thirsty after being in that box for hours without anything to drink, that I started guzzling it. And as I guzzled, the tiny gaseous bubbles floated their way up and invaded my petite button nose, causing it to twitch wildly, in hopes of discouraging an impending sneeze—WHICH, came anyway, and the effects of which completely shattered the stillness of the room, causing him to rear back and his eyes to widen in surprise. But that wasn't the end of it—the sneezing continued for several seconds longer in a rapid-fire barrage. Then, as if that didn't fit the bill for 'most embarrassing moment,' I began coughing violently when a sneeze came at the exact moment I was trying to take a breath.

This went on for several minutes, and during this time, he just stood back observing, not quite knowing what to make of it. Finally, when both coughing and sneezing had taken their toll on my dignity, I looked up at him with a very sheepish grin, and opened my mouth to offer an apology for my convulsive outbursts, but instead of an apology, out came one very loud hiccup, which I'm sure, was the convincing straw that I obviously had very little refinement.

I could see he was struggling not to laugh when he pressed his lips tightly together in an attempt to keep them from stretching across his face. But there was no way he could stop the smile spreading over his incredible eyes at that moment. After several seconds he folded his arms across his chest, took a deep breath and asked,

"Have you finished, yet?"

"I think so," I answered, hoping there were no more surprises left.

He continued staring at me. No . . . no it wasn't staring. His eyes were drilling . . . right through mine. His blue had met my blue, and as we stood there, face to face, I wondered if he had any idea what a grand Christmas present he had just received. Maybe he did, because I had been there for a good fifteen minutes already, and he hadn't yet thrown me out. This was definitely a good sign. At least, I took it as a good sign.

After that, he took me into the library, and had me sit down on the sofa, where I could see he had left his laptop running. It appeared he had been working when FedEx rang the bell with the surprise Christmas package— which, I dare say, was the turning point in his life, although he didn’t know it then, and wouldn’t for some time to come.

He then returned to the kitchen and came back with a large bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water, and another glass.

Bye for now,
Love,
Ellee