Chapter Thirty-four

THE ANDERCHRONICLES

By Me, Ellee

[WARNING: The following story has been rated FNF*]
*Fiction NOT Fact

[ADDITIONAL WARNING: It wouldn't be wise for the reader to assume that anyone in these stories is an actual person. I know it's easy to get carried away and think you recognize someone, but please discipline yourself as you read and don't allow this to happen. Thank you.]

"A Little Bit of AnderRomance"
Part II
Valentine’s Day

V

alentine’s Day—February 14— the day for love; for those who love; for those who are loved; for those who are looking for love; for those who have found love; BUT, certainly NOT for those who have found unrequited love that goes unnoticed day after day, and never, ever, returned even in a little teeny, tiny, eency, weency way by the object of their affection. And I was most definitely a bonafide member of that latter group. Andy didn’t care about me—that was obvious. To wit, he hadn’t even given me an invitation to his very exclusive Valentine party. DANG! I was feeling blue, bluer and bluest about that. AND, he was going out of his way to avoid me at every turn. When he left me the night before, after discovering Molly was with me in my room, I could see he was struggling with some matter of great concern to him—most likely, he wanted me out of his life for good, but just didn’t know how to go about it. I constantly irritate him in one way or another, and last night was no exception. He got so upset when I was fussing with my unruly hair, and when Molly wanted to stay with me. All day long he hadn’t said one word to me, and whenever our eyes came in contact with one another, he would quickly look away, or rush to another room.

I didn’t have much time, however, to stress over all that until later in the day because, thanks to dear Harriet, my mind had been consumed with other more menial things like potty duty—yes, I was once again on the latrine circuit—scouring, scrubbing, disinfecting, and shining all six bathrooms for the party. Why did I always get stuck with that? Do I seem like the kind of person who wants to scrub toilets? Even ANDY’S toilets? I think NOT! I don’t like scrubbing toilets! I would have to take this up with Harriet some time, and let her know my true feelings about this sort of work. Yeah, right! Like that would change her views on what constitutes my work list.

About noon, Sissy arrived, in her bib overalls and New Balance shoes, sleeves rolled up and ready to work, helping Andy with anything he asked. By that time, the toilets were already sparkling, or else I would have turned them over to her. By 2:00 p.m. Barbara showed up and said she came early to help, also. Where were these people when I needed them? The two of them could have cleaned three bathrooms each, leaving NONE for me!

The caterers, florists and decorators had all arrived by 9:00 a.m., each having their special work to do, and Harriet was in her glory to command them all. She reminded me of a traffic cop in white gloves, directing traffic from here to there, from over there to over here, from this side to that side, from up here to down there and from this place to that place. She was very efficient at it, AND both eyes were tracking together.

Andy, along with Sissy and Barbara’s help, spent considerable time selecting the love songs to be played during the evening on the sound system. Some of them included:

Love Me Tender, Can’t Help Falling In Love, I Want You I Need You I Love You, True Love, Unchained Melody, Close To You, My Funny Valentine, Cherish

As I observed all the supplies arriving and being shuttled into the dining hall, which I had never seen, up to that day, because it had never been opened before, but now had its massive carved-mahogany double doors flung wide to accept all these deliveries, I remarked that no expense had been spared for this party. And only the best of everything had been ordered: from lovely high-back chony wood chairs from Russia, to the flowers which were flown in from Hawaii–pink and red hibiscus, birds of paradise in shades of lavender, and white orchids so delicate that each remained in its protective cellophane wrapper until one hour before the party.

This hall reminded me of the huge dining halls in the Hotel de Ville (town hall) in Paris, each in-laid with centuries-old herringbone oak flooring, and hung with crystal chandeliers from eighteenth century cristalleries, renowned throughout France. Andy’s dining hall, however, has an in-laid Brazilian mahogany floor, matching the doors. And the three chandeliers adorning the high ceilings are Marie Antoinette style with 2000 Swarovski crystal drops, all hanging in brilliant splendor, ready to reflect the sparkle of the evening festivities .

In the middle of the hall, stood a long table which could seat twenty-five people. Its legs were hand-carved and brushed with gold. The white damask table cloth was draped with imported Dupioni pink silk swags along the sides. The Hermes Fashion House of Paris had created chair covers from the same pink silk, and adorned each with a large, red lace bow into which was later placed several sprigs of white stephanotis.

Each place setting was laid with extremely, fine white bone china—the kind you can see your hand through if you hold it up to the light, as well as sterling silverware and crystal stemware—all positioned on a heart- shaped place mat made of crushed pink velvet, imported from Czechoslovakia. The florists brought in a dozen pink roses for each place setting, and later, Andy added to each plate a ten-pound, heart-shaped red box of truffles from Godiva chocolatiers, plus a twelve-ounce Italian Murano glass bottle of Christian Dior’s most exclusive parfum.

I decided Andy’s guests must be very special to him, as Opulence and Elegance seemed to be the theme for this joyous occasion. I learned from Barbara, as we were putting flowers into some vases, that each guest had also received a credit card in her invitation allowing her to purchase an evening gown of her choice at the Christian Dior Showroom on 5th Avenue. DANG! This broke my heart. How come I’M not on his list of special people, I wondered? He really doesn’t care for me at all, I told myself. I felt tears stinging at my eyes then, and had a hard time turning them away while I was talking with Barbara. Actually, when she turned to answer a question Sissy had asked her, I took the opportunity to slip away to my room where I cried for a long time.

There was a large assortment of people working in Andy’s apartment all day long, coming and going and rushing here and there, from room to room. Molly was excited by all this confusion and noise and was running around, barking and wanting to play. I played with her as much as I could, but that wasn’t enough.

Later, about 4:00 p.m., after I had finished with the tearworks, I was carrying a big oval tray loaded with fresh fruits down the front hall on my way to the dining room. As I rounded the corner, I suddenly came face to face with Andy, who was carrying a tall stack of small white boxes, but we saw each other too late to change directions and prevent our collision, which knocked us both to the floor, our wares flying in all directions and landing on top of, and all around us. At that precise moment I heard screaming,

"Ellee . . . Ellee, are you all right? Oh my dear, sweet Ellee!"

I looked up just in time to see . . . Leonardo??? reaching over to pick me up, but at that same moment, Andy inserted himself between Leonardo and me, elbowing Leonardo away from me. As Andy lifted me to my feet, his anxious eyes were flying all over me looking for any damage.

"Ellee, are you hurt? Are you okay? I’m sorry! I didn’t see you."

"I’m probably fine . . . I think," I answered, as I looked down to assess if I really was fine. But my left arm had hit the corner of the wall on the way down and it was smarting. I automatically grabbed it as Andy saw it and brushed my hand away, placing his hand on the wounded area.

"That’s going to be a nasty bruise, if I don’t put pressure on it," he said, eyeing me directly, before casting his gaze on Leonardo and demanding to know,

"Who let you in here? And what are you doing here?"

"I came to get Ellee. We’re going skateboarding. And your doorman told me to come up."

He had brought two skateboards with him and his backpack, which he had dropped when he swooped to help me.

"Well, Ellee is not going skateboarding with you, Leonardo, so just pick up your things and head on out," Andy replied, irritation filling his words.

But at that moment, Molly appeared around the corner, just in time to snatch the backpack and make off with it down the hall. Leonardo turned to see Molly running at full speed and he immediately took off, too, running after her, yelling,

"Hey, that’s my backpack, come back here DOG!"

As the two of them ran through the halls and around the whole apartment, Leonardo was yelling for Molly to stop and come back, and Molly was running faster and faster, having finally found someone to play with her. She was loving every minute of it, at the same time her playmate was hating every minute of it. And Andy—well, he wasn’t pleased about any of it.

"Ellee, you DID agree to go with Leonardo skateboarding, didn’t you?"

"No, I didn’t, Andy!" The pressure on my arm at that moment intensified.

"Andy, you’re hurting my arm!"

His stare pierced my eyes for an instant, and then he let go of my arm, shoving it away as he did so, and then stormed off. Once again I had brought displeasure to him. I couldn’t seem to do anything right. And I wasn’t even sure what I had done wrong.

I went to my room to put cold compresses on my arm, and when I returned, Leonardo was gone, along with the skateboards and backpack, as well as Molly, who was now corralled in Andy’s room.

Andy was definitely not speaking to me at that point, even when I tried to apologize for running into him, and confirm once again that I had no idea Leonardo was coming.

Minutes before the guests started arriving, Harriet asked me to help her complete some last minute details in the kitchen. We had worked hard all day. I was a mess and didn’t want anyone to see me, so when I finished I was on my way to hole up in my room for the night, when I saw Andy on his way to greet the first of many guests. As I saw how handsomely he was dressed, my heart sank, and my curiosity got the better of me, so I hid myself in a darkened spot where I could see the entryway, but not be seen, thus affording me the opportunity to watch as each guest made her grand entrance.

The first one arriving was Jen. When Andy opened the door dressed in his black tux with white shirt and black tie, silver hair gleaming in the lights, blue eyes bluer than usual, and simply glowing with Andersparkle, AND kissed the back of her hand, it was all just too much for her. I could see she had become completely unglued at the sight of him and was starting into a swoon, which, if it had not have been for her twin sister, Jennifer, who arrived a few steps behind her, shaking her back to reality, she would have completed that swoon. But when poor Jennifer became swallowed up in the Andersparkle, she started to falter, too. And when Andy kissed the back of her hand, she hit the floor with a loud THUD! At that moment I rushed from my hiding place to offer assistance to these poor thunderstruck and quivering fans.

I took the two of them into my room and had them sit down while I placed cold wash cloths on their foreheads and told them to breathe deeply.

"You’ll be okay," I counseled, "just don’t look directly into his eyes at close range any more."

A few minutes later, they were still reeling from their close encounter, so I told them to rest on my bed a while.

I returned to my vantage point as Purple Tie was arriving. She was dressed in a beautiful white, tight-fitting lace gown and . . . and . . . a purple tie? But when Andy saw the purple tie he exclaimed,

"Hey, Purple Tie, I like your purple tie! I have one just like that!" And he beamed from ear to ear.

"I know you do," she responded demurely, lowering her eyes just a bit, as she blushed like a red land iguana. Then the two of them just stood there for the longest time, beaming and beaming at each other. Finally Andy took hold of Purple Tie’s purple tie and pulled her off to the dining hall.

When the doorbell rang again, Andy scurried back to the vestibule just in time to welcome Klementine Kessup, a famous writer who also happens to be a long-time Andy fan. Her thick dark hair was twisted into an extremely tight knot, which had effectively erased any wrinkles she might otherwise have had on her face, and then she had stuck it on top of her head and pierced it with a couple of mini Japanese swords, crossing them to establish better karma. I later found out the emperor of Japan had sent them to her, applauding her works and the significant impact they had been on his country.

Klem’s dress, lavender in color with lots of flounces and ruffles, was accentuated with a squared decollete—which, however, was causing Andy some severe eye problems—he wasn’t sure where exactly to place them, and as he bent to kiss the back of her hand, he closed them all together. At the exact moment his lips and breath made contact with her skin, Klem began a giggling marathon, which lasted all the way to the dining hall, as Andy escorted her on his arm.

When Ally, the youngest of the group came through the door, her sweet, freshly scrubbed appearance must have warmed Andy’s heart, because at that moment his smile seemed to outshine the sparkle of his eyes. Her soft pink party gown accentuated her delicate pink cheeks, giving her a radiant glow which brought a special warmth to the evening. I noticed the song playing at that moment was, Elvis’ Can’t Help Falling In Love With You. What a sweetheart she was!

Countess Iksminus, coming all the way from the Greek isle of Ikaria, I later found out, preferred to be called Meg Hanks. When Andy saw her, he not only kissed her hand, but then pulled her close and hugged her for what I considered far too long. He was so happy to see her and they chatted for several minutes before he escorted her into the dining hall. Her mid-calf wine color dress, with a black lace overlay on the bodice, was stunning, as it gave prominence to her dark eyes. And the sweetheart neckline was just perfect for the single strand of pearls, matching the earrings which swung in rhythm as she walked across the hardwood floor in her black, patent leather mid heel pumps. Her shoulder length, dark auburn hair glistened in the evening lights, and was a perfect frame to her lovely face, which, for some strange reason didn’t display any of the usual effects of jet-lag.


Bye for now,
Love,
Ellee